Once upon a time, I was a first time mom. I was a stay-at-home, Babywise following, baby-food-making, baseboard dusting, play-date arranging mom who had it all figured out. My opinion of everyone who did it differently than me was pretty much that they were going to mommy hell. I could have single-handedly started my own battle of Mommy Wars. I look back now and realize how the weight of the gospel in my life as well as all the amazing women who have entered it, have caused my closed mind to open up.
Back a few months ago, I posted the below photo on my Instagram/Facebook. Not only did it pick up some attention online, but it struck up conversations in several circles. Girlfriends were emailing me, texting me, posting their own FB statuses along similar lines. My heart swells after a post like this and not because it gives me some attention, but because it gives the gospel some attention.
You can read the little caption in the photo. But basically, I was at Target at night, sans kids. Freezing weather outside, with this big pot (above) of chili waiting for me at home (made by my own mom), I noticed all the just-came-from-work moms with kids in tow. When I realized they had just left work and still had to go home and make a meal for their littles, it just broke me. I wanted to invite them all over to my house to share my chili and give them a hug. Initially, in my heart I praised God for the opportunity to stay at home with little boys. I thanked Him for giving me a husband who provided for all of us so that I could be at home and have a meal ready for supper. But then, I began to think about my early mom years and how judgemental I had been over everyone who did it differently than I did. I repented for judging those who never tried to breastfeed or gave it up to quickly, for challenging all my peers to sleep-train and cry it out, for assuming that women who chose to return to work were cold, heartless, and didn’t really deserve to have children. Oh yes, I just said that. I only knew what worked for me and I pushed it on everyone. Unaware, I was living my own Mommy War. Somedays, I am sure I probably sinfully still do.
As I grow as a women, mom, and in my relationship with the Father, I begin to view his people more like He does– without judgement, criticism, and for who they really are. Over the past couple of years, God has used my different social circles to put women/moms in my life from all walks of life. I have been exposed to and fallen in love with women who do things completely 100% different then I did. God has put women in my life to open my eyes to the real beauty of motherhood- which is just loving your kids and doing what you have to do. He has shown me that we all need to do a much better job of building each other put instead of tearing each other down, engaging in all these so-called “Mommy Wars.” At the end of the day, most moms just want a hug and to hear we are doing a good job.
Enter my idea—->
I’m a fan of the opinion that ignorance breeds animosity. How many of us are floating in our little bubble of moms similar to us? How many of us get the opportunity to see working moms, military moms, single moms, special needs moms, adoptive moms and every other ‘type’ of mom out there? What if I could use my platform to educate, inspire, and showcase other moms? What if moms out there could take a peek into the life of a real-life mom—- not a celebrity, but a real mom seeing how she does things or why she does them? Rather than moms feeling attacked and at war what if we could love on that mom and give her some positive encouragement that she could turn back to and read when she is feeling down?
So I have started #HugAllTheMoms as an attempt to stop the Mommy Wars. On the blog, we will be featuring one mom every other week. They will answer a few questions in their own words, give us a peek at their lives, and hopefully open your eyes to another facet of motherhood.
I cannot tell y’all how excited I am about this. It has been stirring in my soul since that IG post back in November. I had no idea that the tug on my heart that happened in Target would light up a passion in my heart to #hugallthemoms. Daily, the Lord is showing me more moms and more ways to use this for good.
We have the first few lined up, but if you are a mom who would like to take part in the feature or you’d like to nominate someone who would, email me suing the contact form below!